Saturday, April 28, 2007
Friday, April 20, 2007
Kiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirk!
Your results:
You are James T. Kirk (Captain)
Click here to take the Star Trek Personality Quiz
You are James T. Kirk (Captain)
| You are often exaggerated and over-the-top in your speech and expressions. You are a romantic at heart and a natural leader.  |
Click here to take the Star Trek Personality Quiz
Saturday, April 07, 2007
How I Came to Love Ashton Kutcher and Hate "New" Blogger
Well, perhaps love is a bit strong, but he did make me laugh. I've never really liked Ashton Kutcher(what kind of name is that anyway? Right up there with Blaine). He's the same joke over and over, but then I saw "Open Season" and he gotme. There's this one scene... well, I'd LOVE to show you, but ever since Blogger made me switch to "New Crappy Blogger" I get no joy fromYouTube- nothing posts. Zip! And don't get me started on what using the spell check does to my posts! GRAAAAAAH!
It's very frustrating. So while love maybe a bit much HATE isn't! HATE, HATE, HATE technical difficulties! They make my brain hurt. If you can't bang on the machine and make it work then what is the hard casing for?
Anyhow, if you need a smile and are interested in Aston's interpretation of my relationship with Starbucks you can check it out here. Funny stuff.
Grrrr, stupid Blogger... make me change over.... won't post....
*stomps off to bed grumbling*
It's very frustrating. So while love maybe a bit much HATE isn't! HATE, HATE, HATE technical difficulties! They make my brain hurt. If you can't bang on the machine and make it work then what is the hard casing for?
Anyhow, if you need a smile and are interested in Aston's interpretation of my relationship with Starbucks you can check it out here. Funny stuff.
Grrrr, stupid Blogger... make me change over.... won't post....
*stomps off to bed grumbling*
Monday, April 02, 2007
Toehold on Femininity
Time to blog again and once again I find myself hard pressed to get my thoughts into any kind of coherent order. I've been fighting with this entry for awhile now. My first draft was written, sheesh! I don't know how long ago. It was a couple of pages of frustration and sentence fragments. Every time I'd go into the draft to try and do a little editing I'd get all hot and bothered and overwhelmed by my inability to communicate clearly and would just close the thing in disgust. But lately my life has been one message after another about the importance of manhood, Godly manhood. Books, seminars, friends blogs, conversations, all have been pointing like flashing arrows towards the importance of this subject. Still I avoided my defunct blog draft (which was about contemporary gender roles by the way) and instead I worked on how I interacted with my sons and tried to encourage the men in my life to... reach for the goal of being a man like Gideon: a mighty man of God. To pray, to lead, to become spiritual warriors. Take responsibility. Be present. Be heroes for Christ. Then the collision came...
First I read this: "Shortly before the battle of Thermopylae, Leonidas was secretly asked how he had chosen the three hundred brave men for the suicide mission to defend the Hot Gates. After all, the men appeared to be an eclectic mix of odd choices- grizzled veterans of many campaigns alongside young men unbloodied in battle. To die for your city was the greatest privilege a Spartan could achieve, and all the warriors wanted the honor. Did he pick the bravest men, the best fighters, the greatest Olympic athletes? Or did he choose the fastest, the strongest, and the wisest men he could find?
Leonidas stated that none of those traits factored into how he chose the three hundred. Instead, he chose them based on the character of their wives and mothers. He reasoned Thermopylae would not be the deciding battle of the war- that would come later on the plains of Greece. Since all the men at Thermopylae were destined to be killed, their wives and mothers would be left for the rest of Greece to see. If these women were broken by the loss of their husbands and sons, then the Greeks would lose heart and fail to defend their homeland. But if these women exhibited courage and strength, then the Grecian people would be inspired and win the war. Leonidas said, 'these brave women are to be the new Mothers of Greece. All of the people will be inspired by their dry-eyed example of courage and sacrifice.' Apparently, these extraordinary women performed up to his expectations... as a mother, you have the ability, even the responsibility, to ensure that your son is raised up to be a man who will lead with courage and integrity. That's a huge responsibility, but one that women have been charged with since the beginning of time."
Then I heard a remake of Tom Petty's I Won't Back Down. It's been covered by both Pearl Jam and Johnny Cash and both of those versions are nice (check 'em out on You Tube). In fact I read a review of Cash's version that said:"when Petty sang, 'you can stand me up at the gates of Hell, but I won't back down' you think 'nice chorus'. When Cash sings the same line you know he means it and you take a step back." If that's true of Johnny Cash then it's doubly so of the Sam Elliot version I heard. As an actor known for his gravelly baritone Sam owned it and made all other versions seem like weak tea.
With that song stuck on endless repeat within my brain I spoke to a friend who was discouraged by a husband that doesn't so much honor and cherish as much as he bullies and ignores. Within that conversation I heard myself saying, "just because he's shoved his head up his ass doesn't mean you get to shove your head up yours. Regardless of what he does, YOU do what's right. You have no control over him. You DO have control over your own actions, thoughts, and feelings. Pray!" Then...
Today I was cleaning out my email inbox when I found a letter written by a friend of a friend, gosh, almost a year ago. In the correspondence we discussed the idea of heroes and manhood. He wrote: "I'm less understanding of [the term] 'hero'. Hero is a lot of pressure to put on someone (said the wimpy boy). I wonder how women would feel if held to similar standards/requirements." Can I tell you the choking noises and internal snarky comments that ensued over that?
But today all those things collided and smashed around in that big bag of weird that is my brain. How does a woman inspire? How does she teach or lead? How does a woman confront the Enemy? What is her role in marriage or motherhood? I began to examine the validity of that last emailed comment regarding women and thought, what does a female hero look like?
It's easy to stand back and say what I expect of my husband, my sons, my father, my brother, of any man of Christ, any man of honor, hell, of any man of my acquaintance, but what of women? Where are all the messages of life regarding MY place and gender? What is the role of a wife, mother, woman? Today's society paints a schizophrenic picture to be sure. Physically I'm supposed to be every man's fantasy- lithe and long, pouty and pert. Emotionally, I shouldn't need a man, I should be sufficient unto myself. A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle right? And mentally or spiritually, well hell, I practically am man because I'm his equal and somewhere along the line we confused "equal to" with "the same as". Anyone else see the irony? The modern female should be the desire of every man's heart, but have no need of a man because, for all intents and purposes, she is one. That's why "I'm ok, you're ok" because really you're me.
Egad.
And even as I see the absurdity of all that I know I have bought into it. It seems easy to stand back and look at masculinity and say "well of course" and "pony up." But perhaps all those flashing messages regarding the importance of Godly masculinity were not so much to instruct, but to point out, "Beth this ain't the way, not for you anyway. It's not your story. Look at what YOU have been given." Erm, what is that? I'm not sure I can recognize it. I can stand here and ask are you strong enough to be my man? But a better question, perhaps, is am I strong enough to be a woman and again, what does that look like?
I'm pretty sure it's not the 40-something, tanned and toned, pushed into Brittney fashions who trades in her dignity in a sad attempt to remain 20. The woman who C.S. Lewis described as "spending half her life trying to get to a certain age and the second half of her life trying to stay there." Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain and a woman caught up in retaining her physical appeal, aged 18, is sad. Nor is she a Ripley wanna-be tough in mind and calloused in spirit, emotions numbed or buried except the ones that tell her to be dissatisfied and pissed off. A wife of noble character who can find? I'll tell you where you won't find her: proudly touting a "bitch" bumper sticker on her rig- a woman lost in transit or translation? She's the wife who takes her vows seriously. Vows that can't be dismissed regardless of the circumstances under which they were uttered- youth, naiveté, desperation, or even hope. And regardless of the crap of life, she stays and she stands. She stands for her husband, her family, her God, for those things bigger then her selfish heart. She doesn't back down before the Enemy. To teach courage and integrity to our children, to inspire it in our men, one must first exhibit it, yes? She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue even when she is discouraged. Her children arise and call her blessed because she loved them more then her own comfort or her need to be right.
...and that's where I'm at. And as usual I'm not sure "where" that is exactly (a place of random thoughts held together with a lot of italics and ellipsis, perhaps). The Leonidas vignette keeps colliding with the idea and expectations of feminine heroics which causes me to stop and ponder what those are... helping hands, giving hearts, motherhood, wifedom, doing what's right regardless of how we feel? And before I can find an answer the thoughts morph and smash and change... I hold a responsibilty to raise spiritual warriors, I (woman) was given the ability to inspire, born to be a helpmate/a support, to be something that makes me pause even as I consider it. Eve was made last, the crown of creation some have said, but she was also the soil from which life would spring, she became a foundation as well as a crown, the first multi-tasker. My inheritance. And I know the Enemy seeks to steal that gift from me. He tarnishes it, tells me it's cheap, weak, lame, or (in a different tack) beyond me. I should want Adam's gift- it's better and I should become grasping and dissatisfied, but I'm tired of that idea. Another thought slams in, an old saying: "woman was made of Adam's rib, not his head to be above him. Not of his heel to be trod upon by him, but of his rib. Under his arm to be protected and close to his heart to be beloved." Beloved. Beautiful. Cherished. And the thoughts continue to churn and burn and, to quote the man, "fall down in the mud and the blood and the beer" and above it all the music plays: ...gonna stand my ground. Won't be turned around. And I'll keep this world from dragging me down. No I won't back down. You can stand me up at the gates of hell, but I won't back down...
I'm ready to own this place called femininity, to champion it, to not back down.
We shall see, hmmm? I'm scrabbling for a toehold here people even if it is only in my chaotic thoughts.
First I read this: "Shortly before the battle of Thermopylae, Leonidas was secretly asked how he had chosen the three hundred brave men for the suicide mission to defend the Hot Gates. After all, the men appeared to be an eclectic mix of odd choices- grizzled veterans of many campaigns alongside young men unbloodied in battle. To die for your city was the greatest privilege a Spartan could achieve, and all the warriors wanted the honor. Did he pick the bravest men, the best fighters, the greatest Olympic athletes? Or did he choose the fastest, the strongest, and the wisest men he could find?
Leonidas stated that none of those traits factored into how he chose the three hundred. Instead, he chose them based on the character of their wives and mothers. He reasoned Thermopylae would not be the deciding battle of the war- that would come later on the plains of Greece. Since all the men at Thermopylae were destined to be killed, their wives and mothers would be left for the rest of Greece to see. If these women were broken by the loss of their husbands and sons, then the Greeks would lose heart and fail to defend their homeland. But if these women exhibited courage and strength, then the Grecian people would be inspired and win the war. Leonidas said, 'these brave women are to be the new Mothers of Greece. All of the people will be inspired by their dry-eyed example of courage and sacrifice.' Apparently, these extraordinary women performed up to his expectations... as a mother, you have the ability, even the responsibility, to ensure that your son is raised up to be a man who will lead with courage and integrity. That's a huge responsibility, but one that women have been charged with since the beginning of time."
Then I heard a remake of Tom Petty's I Won't Back Down. It's been covered by both Pearl Jam and Johnny Cash and both of those versions are nice (check 'em out on You Tube). In fact I read a review of Cash's version that said:"when Petty sang, 'you can stand me up at the gates of Hell, but I won't back down' you think 'nice chorus'. When Cash sings the same line you know he means it and you take a step back." If that's true of Johnny Cash then it's doubly so of the Sam Elliot version I heard. As an actor known for his gravelly baritone Sam owned it and made all other versions seem like weak tea.
With that song stuck on endless repeat within my brain I spoke to a friend who was discouraged by a husband that doesn't so much honor and cherish as much as he bullies and ignores. Within that conversation I heard myself saying, "just because he's shoved his head up his ass doesn't mean you get to shove your head up yours. Regardless of what he does, YOU do what's right. You have no control over him. You DO have control over your own actions, thoughts, and feelings. Pray!" Then...
Today I was cleaning out my email inbox when I found a letter written by a friend of a friend, gosh, almost a year ago. In the correspondence we discussed the idea of heroes and manhood. He wrote: "I'm less understanding of [the term] 'hero'. Hero is a lot of pressure to put on someone (said the wimpy boy). I wonder how women would feel if held to similar standards/requirements." Can I tell you the choking noises and internal snarky comments that ensued over that?
But today all those things collided and smashed around in that big bag of weird that is my brain. How does a woman inspire? How does she teach or lead? How does a woman confront the Enemy? What is her role in marriage or motherhood? I began to examine the validity of that last emailed comment regarding women and thought, what does a female hero look like?
It's easy to stand back and say what I expect of my husband, my sons, my father, my brother, of any man of Christ, any man of honor, hell, of any man of my acquaintance, but what of women? Where are all the messages of life regarding MY place and gender? What is the role of a wife, mother, woman? Today's society paints a schizophrenic picture to be sure. Physically I'm supposed to be every man's fantasy- lithe and long, pouty and pert. Emotionally, I shouldn't need a man, I should be sufficient unto myself. A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle right? And mentally or spiritually, well hell, I practically am man because I'm his equal and somewhere along the line we confused "equal to" with "the same as". Anyone else see the irony? The modern female should be the desire of every man's heart, but have no need of a man because, for all intents and purposes, she is one. That's why "I'm ok, you're ok" because really you're me.
Egad.
And even as I see the absurdity of all that I know I have bought into it. It seems easy to stand back and look at masculinity and say "well of course" and "pony up." But perhaps all those flashing messages regarding the importance of Godly masculinity were not so much to instruct, but to point out, "Beth this ain't the way, not for you anyway. It's not your story. Look at what YOU have been given." Erm, what is that? I'm not sure I can recognize it. I can stand here and ask are you strong enough to be my man? But a better question, perhaps, is am I strong enough to be a woman and again, what does that look like?
I'm pretty sure it's not the 40-something, tanned and toned, pushed into Brittney fashions who trades in her dignity in a sad attempt to remain 20. The woman who C.S. Lewis described as "spending half her life trying to get to a certain age and the second half of her life trying to stay there." Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain and a woman caught up in retaining her physical appeal, aged 18, is sad. Nor is she a Ripley wanna-be tough in mind and calloused in spirit, emotions numbed or buried except the ones that tell her to be dissatisfied and pissed off. A wife of noble character who can find? I'll tell you where you won't find her: proudly touting a "bitch" bumper sticker on her rig- a woman lost in transit or translation? She's the wife who takes her vows seriously. Vows that can't be dismissed regardless of the circumstances under which they were uttered- youth, naiveté, desperation, or even hope. And regardless of the crap of life, she stays and she stands. She stands for her husband, her family, her God, for those things bigger then her selfish heart. She doesn't back down before the Enemy. To teach courage and integrity to our children, to inspire it in our men, one must first exhibit it, yes? She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue even when she is discouraged. Her children arise and call her blessed because she loved them more then her own comfort or her need to be right.
...and that's where I'm at. And as usual I'm not sure "where" that is exactly (a place of random thoughts held together with a lot of italics and ellipsis, perhaps). The Leonidas vignette keeps colliding with the idea and expectations of feminine heroics which causes me to stop and ponder what those are... helping hands, giving hearts, motherhood, wifedom, doing what's right regardless of how we feel? And before I can find an answer the thoughts morph and smash and change... I hold a responsibilty to raise spiritual warriors, I (woman) was given the ability to inspire, born to be a helpmate/a support, to be something that makes me pause even as I consider it. Eve was made last, the crown of creation some have said, but she was also the soil from which life would spring, she became a foundation as well as a crown, the first multi-tasker. My inheritance. And I know the Enemy seeks to steal that gift from me. He tarnishes it, tells me it's cheap, weak, lame, or (in a different tack) beyond me. I should want Adam's gift- it's better and I should become grasping and dissatisfied, but I'm tired of that idea. Another thought slams in, an old saying: "woman was made of Adam's rib, not his head to be above him. Not of his heel to be trod upon by him, but of his rib. Under his arm to be protected and close to his heart to be beloved." Beloved. Beautiful. Cherished. And the thoughts continue to churn and burn and, to quote the man, "fall down in the mud and the blood and the beer" and above it all the music plays: ...gonna stand my ground. Won't be turned around. And I'll keep this world from dragging me down. No I won't back down. You can stand me up at the gates of hell, but I won't back down...
I'm ready to own this place called femininity, to champion it, to not back down.
We shall see, hmmm? I'm scrabbling for a toehold here people even if it is only in my chaotic thoughts.
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